he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
