Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
