I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
bring money and cleavage
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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