I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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