I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
