yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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