"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
