his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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