I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
