You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
