you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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