I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
