I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
