He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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