Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
