I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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