Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I have aggressive nipples.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
