yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
