I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
