Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i drank out of a bidet.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
