i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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