Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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