HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
