yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize
