I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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