if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
3pm strippers are depressing
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
