dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
