I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Randomize
