Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
bring money and cleavage
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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