i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
is wine microwaveable?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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