8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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