Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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