So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
