dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
