it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
