i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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