I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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