eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
