I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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