Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
