this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I have fence marks all over my body
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
