I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize