yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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