8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
