haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
