So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
