I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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