I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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