The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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