Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
