she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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